Kara singing the National Anthem for a school assemble

Kara singing the National Anthem for a school assemble

Baptism, Birthday, Movie and much more

I love Memorial weekend.  Matt unfortunately worked both Saturday and Monday, but he had fun nonetheless.   On Friday we went to and saw Kara's play, "The Awkward Life of an American Teenager."  It was amazing and Kara did an a superb job!

Saturday I ran all day, SERIOUSLY and cleaned and cleaned!  Then Matt and I went and saw the new Star Trek movie.  I loved it, but it seems movies just keep getting more and more violent. I feel like I cover my eyes way too much!

My niece Cumorah got baptized by her dad! I was asked to speak at her baptism.  Cumorah sang a duet at her baptism with her best friend and next door neighbor.  They did marvelous! During the interim we saw a short video called "The Pioneer Miracle" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0351557/  It was exactly what I needed to hear.I highly recommend it.

 Afterwards we gathered at Cumorah's home for yummy food and a great visit.  I love visiting with Miriah's family.  They are such fascinating people.

On Monday afternoon we went to my brother Matthew's home and had a barbecue and celebrated his birthday!   Both events had the most yummy food.  My sister in laws are such good cooks.

While we were there we worked on the family reunion.  I am so excited to get together with my family next month on the Oregon Coast.  I hope everything goes as planned as we have worked hard to plan everything.  I am excited to see my Aunt Jean, Grandma, and Aunt Traci as we travel through.  My Grandma fell on Sunday and I was so worried when my aunt sent me a text, but surprisingly, it turned out to be pretty minor.

I don't have any family graves in Utah to visit.  Here is my parents grave that Sheryl went and put flowers on.  She is so good about bringing flowers and I am so grateful that she does that. 

On Monday I also got to Skype with Coby.  It is so nice that with Skype I can actually see where he lives and meet his roommate and see him!!!   Talking to him this last time made me feel a lot better about his situation.  I sure do miss him, but I am happy for him!

Kara singing "Disneyland"-Smile

The things Matt missed

We enveloped Matt back into our arms last week  to welcome him back after 5 days in Dallas.  Boy did I miss my man and I think it’s safe to say he missed us  too.  He didn't enjoy being super close to the tornado's either.

Here are a few of the other things he missed (besides us), for better or for worse:
--watching Kara drive to school each day
--crazy dogs that would fight.
--the happenings of Coby in Turkey
--yummy dinners
--I got released from Young Women's  :( 
--Identity theft on my credit card----AGAIN
--Kara doing a TON of homework until all hours of the night!

Since he has been back:
Coby has found a place to live in Turkey.  No more sharing a room with 8 complete strangers!

He is living (above)  here for a month when a friend he met in Turkey until his friends come and join him next month.  I am excited that he found a place to live.

Kara had her  last school choir concert and she sang a solo.  She did an amazing job!!!!

Kara's doing a lot of homework still.  Seriously, that girl needs to take a break---oh yeah summer is almost here for her to take her break!!!! 

I got a lot of kudos at work---YEAH!!!  I am finally starting to get the hang of it. My boss handed me a gift card since I have been improving so much.   He told my brother I am the FUTURE superstar.  I am sure he was kidding, but it was very nice to receive some positive words when it has taken me so long to really learn about this job.   I had no idea this job could have involved so much work and that it could be this complex.   Someday I will share, but I know I would bore you to tears!

 I did get released from Young Women's after almost serving there for 3 years.  I was completely overwhelmed so it was the right thing, but it was sad, nonetheless.  I love working with the girls, but working with the girls requires a lot of time and I seem to have a short supply of that.

Death and It's Lessons

 Death is not a word I like to use often. It's physically hard for me to say because it triggers such emotions. For years before I was affected, I could speak it with ease. But now? It bothers me. I guess that comes from having a life and soul that death has touched in ways I don't like. Even typing the word floods my mind with tears and what ifs,  and of course, happy  memories and it  brings a longing to see my mom and dad,  grandparents,  etc, so fierce, it consumes me. All of me.

I have a lot of opinions about death. Everyone does. In the beginning mine weren't nice, fluffy, hopeful opinions. They were  edgy and harsh. They have softened over time, change into something more positive, but they sometimes tend to vacillate. Hopefully, they will go back to being more positive, but then again, maybe they won't.

Losing both my parents at a young age and having only brothers around my age has been challenging.  My brothers  tended to mask their pain and not want to talk about it like a girl would like.  It has been such a lonely feeling.

I have always  thought I had to remain strong and  never appear weak.  I was good at putting my guard up, as a protection and rarely, would take it down.  But sometimes, life gets too hard and your guard/resilience  isn't strong enough to hold you up and you are forced  to be exposed in your weakened state. The ripple effect of death is long and broad and changing and has exposed me recently in a weak, painful state.

  I have had several friends recently deal with a loss of someone close to them, and it brings my strong feelings about death to the surface again.  And because of this  death seems to have brought this topic front and center in my mind again. I'm still in a debate with myself over that being a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it's a little of both.

In the quiet parts of my heart, I find myself taking inventory of all the beautiful things those that have passed have taught me. So many lessons, it's hard to catalog them all. The greatest gift  though, is the  knowledge that we have a Heavenly Father who sees us with 20/20 vision. Every minute, every day, with detailed precision. He watches over, guides and loves endlessly. The joy that brings really can't be described.

My parents offered me life and this gave me an outside view of the courage it takes to change your life. Quite exquisite gifts. I have a profound gratitude that I was given a chance to be a daughter to my parents. Because they  had a large effect on mine. Life is beautiful when it works that way.

What has been happening according to my camera

 A lot has been going on.  Way too much for my brain to handle. 

 We took a tour of temple square.  Spencer said he had never actually been on one.  It was really neat and the spirit was so strong.

 Unfortunately Colton had to work.

 We went to lunch at the Lion House Pantry.  I have only been here a few times, but every time I go I love it.

 Spencer's birthday!  For dinner he wanted barbecued ribs.  They need to simmer overnight or longer and then they cook for 10 hours.  Spencer makes it a little bit better than me, but they still tasted yummy.

 It was fun to celebrate with everyone together for his birthday.  Coby came home just to be able  to make it to Spencer's birthday!  When he came home he and Spencer went to the temple.

 Coby left for Istanbul, Turkey on May 9th.  His trip was up in the air for almost a week.   To make a long story short, his place of employment got postponed until later, but he still had his plane ticket.  He couldn't decide what to do.  He had several friends who were supposed to go with him, but they all decided to wait to go to Turkey.  So Coby with such a spirit of adventure, decided to go to Turkey alone.  Honestly, it has scared me  silly.  I have been so worried.  He is on my mind at all times.   He thought one of the guys would end up coming and meeting him there, but he missed his plane.  So now Coby is in a hostel by himself,  certifying to teach English as it is a job in high demand in Turkey.  I feel blessed that he  has been in contact with the branch president there and he is helping him, but I also believe in the buddy system.  As much as Coby won't like this, please feel free to include him in your prayers or put his name on the temple roll.  I would greatly appreciate it.

The day before Mother's day when I came home from an all day YW's activity,  these beautiful flowers were waiting for me from Coby with a very sweet note.  I thought it was so thoughtful of him to think of me for Mother's day! My kids all made me a delicious dinner and showered me with fun gifts.  I truly feel blessed to be the mom to all 4 of my children.

I hope soon I have my act together, because it has not been together for many months now.  I cry all the time and get overwhelmed way too easily.  I had to leave in the middle of sacrament  to come home because I was bawling so bad. I have never done that before at church--EVER.  I tried to be pretty discreet, but apparently I wasn't.

I never like to be the one who is having the hard time. I like to help the person who is having the hard time, so this is very unusual for me.  But, I am not going to deny it, because I try to be real and open.  But I certainly hope that I can stop crying  so much and not feel so overwhelmed.  I think I honestly, went 15 years without really crying in public, so maybe it is good, if I am getting in touch with my feelings.  I do feel more isolated since I started working.  My job requires intense problem solving and troubleshooting, that I feel so drained when I come home that I just want to be a hermit.  Of course, that never happens because I have so much to do to catch up, so I feel so tired constantly.  I get up each morning at 5am, so I am not getting enough sleep either.   I keep thinking after I finish this project, it will be better, but that doesn't happen.  There is always something else and most likely always will be.  Someday, soon I will get my act together!!!   I am just grateful for a patient husband and children.  They have all been so willing to pitch in and help!!! 

It all happened so fast

Kara got her driver's license on April 24th.  She has already been driving for over three weeks.  She is a really good driver, but it still makes me nervous when she takes off by herself. Funny story, the driver's test instructor, couldn't find any one to go with them to take the test, so he was going to cancel.  So Kara asked if her dad could come.  How many kids can say there parent was in the car when they got their driver's license.  She got a 100% on her test. 


Kara was asked to sing the National Anthem in front of her whole school for an assemble.  They only request this during the election assembles.  I wanted to go so bad, but it was the day Coby was graduating and I didn't dare ask to take the morning off too,  Someone recorded it, but  it is too big of a file to send in an email.  Everyone I talked to said she did an amazing job!

Kara got another 4.0 this semester.   She is also in a play at Bingham.  She has been working on it for several months and her performance is May 23rd and 24th.  I am excited to see it.  She is just too buys, seriously. 

 

 Kara recently went to a girl's choice dance.  It was a take you out to the ball game theme.  Her group seriously looked like they had too much. For a day activity they decorated their shirts and then went on a ferris wheel at SHIELDS.  Then they came over to our home for dinner.  The food all turned out yummy.

 After the dance they came back to our home and hung out.  We had ice cream sundaes.  This was one fun group.  I seriously don't think I have ever heard that much laughing by so little of people.