Happy 23rd Birthday Spencer----May 1, 1990

(I apologize for the crooked pages.  I seriously need some scanning help, but this will have to do for now).

Happy Birthday Spencer!!  Tuesday, May 1st 1990 was an extremely HAPPY Day for your dad and I because we got to meet you after waiting and anticipating your arrival. Your brother Coby was so excited to finally meet you too.  He was so thrilled he had a baby brother--he use to call you Spencie.  
From the day you were born you have brought a happiness to our family that we  didn't quite have before.  You have always had a bright light/happiness about you that just radiated JOY and you continue to have it today!

Spencer's 1st few weeks and me looking terrible after his birth

When Spencer was born he was taken by C-section a week early and he came out a whopping 9'6 and was 22 1/2 long a little after 1pm.  I was grateful I had chosen a C-section (Coby was taken C-section so I had the option) after the doctor estimated he would weigh around 6 pounds when he was born on his due date.  Boy was he wrong.  However, because he was taken as a C-section, and because of how his lungs were positioned when he took his first breath he ended up having a very small hole in his lung.  The first few days he was born  he was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and breathing devices and he couldn't be held.   It really scared Matt and I and they wouldn't bring him to my room so I had to go to him. You were born in the afternoon and I had to wait a while to even be able to come and see you since I was numb from the waist down and they wouldn't let me move.  It was the longest few hours ever and I was so worried.  I loved him so much without barely seeing him and I have been loving him every since.  Below are some of the things I love about Spencer!



1.Spencer has a strong spirit. He was a fighter from the day he was born.

Younger pictures of Spencer.  He was such a happy baby and he LOVED his pacifier.

2.  I love that Spencer can make anything FUN.

Spencer throughout the years

3.  I love Spencer's sense of humor. Sometimes I miss it and think he is serious, but then I realize he is only kidding and that really makes me laugh.

4.  I love what a hard worker he is.  He is never late to work and he has to be there at 6:30. WOW! He is very dependable.

5.  Spencer is very disciplined.  He goes to bed early enough that he will get plenty of sleep, even when there is a lot of FUN happening around the house.

6. Spencer is very devoted to what he believes in.

7. I love Spencer's thirst for knowledge. He is always learning and he knows so many randoms things that it sometimes boggles my mind! He is such a smartie pants!!!

Spencer with his adorable smile!  He is such a handsome boy and Man!

8.  Spencer is very loyal to his family.  He always tries to help others.  He tries as hard as he can to come to family functions. 

Recent family picture

9.  I love how honest Spencer is.  He shares how he feels even when it isn't the popular opinion.

10.  I love that Spencer blogs and shares his testimony in a very real way.  http://alittleoffthebeatenpath.blogspot.com/   Spencer has learned a lot of lessons because he yearns to learn each and everyday.

Spencer in Halloween costumes,  his baptism day and with his Great Grandma Fowler

11.  Spencer is very caring.  He serves others quietly, but he does small gestures that sometimes could easily go unnoticed if you aren't looking for them.  He is a protector of women.  He wants to keep those he loves safe and he feel very responsible.

12. Spencer is so loyal to Kara and all of his siblings.  However,  I do love how he adores and treats her like a princess.  It is so sweet to see them together.

Halloween,  birthdays and Spencer on his new bike

13. I love how Spencer goes to  the temple each week and has made a commitment to do so.  Once Spencer has his mind set to something it is really hard to get in his way!

Spencer in front to the Fiji temple

14. I love how helpful Spencer is.  If you ask him to do something he will do it.  He is very helpful.

Family vacation, Honors award and another new bike, all from 12-14 yrs old

15.  Spencer is an amazing cook.  He doesn't especially love cooking, but he is such a good cook.  He creates some of the best recipes ever. He cooks dinner one night a week and it is always delicious and healthy.

16.  I love how knowledgeable Spencer is about sports.  He knows everything about sports and he especially loves the Seahawks.  He is so devoted to them no matter how they play.

Spencer at a Seahawks game with his friend Brian

17.  I love seeing how kind and considerate Spencer is with a girlfriend or girls in general.  He is so kind and loving and he goes overboard to let them know they are a daughter of God. He will be a wonderful husband and father someday.

18. I love how much Spencer loves the outdoors.  He loves to hike, camp and explore the beautiful world and is always planning a new adventure. His dad and I love his adventurous spirit.  He is certainly an explore at heart.

19.  I love how well Spencer treats his dog Gracie. He is wonderful with her and only gets her the best of everything.

Various dances Spencer went to in high school and 18th birthday

20. I love how much Spencer loves music.  He has great music taste and even though I don't know all the bands he loves,  I appreciate his love for it.

Senior pictures and Spencer and his ultimate Frisbee team

21. I love how good Spencer is with money.  He has always been really good at saving money and understands the importance of being frugal.

22.  I love how strong minded Spencer is.  When he believes in something he doesn't care if others don't agree with his opinion.  He just stays strong to his beliefs.  We need more people like this in the world.

Spencer in the Redwoods on an awesome hike

23. I love Spencer's imaginative mind. As a child he could think up of some of the most imaginative things.  He still does that today with some of ideas and thoughts.  I love hearing his perspective about the world through his imagination.

Spencer you bring sunshine into each and every day. I am so grateful that you are my son and I learn so much from you.  I love and adore you!!!  Happy Birthday Spencer!!

Love~ Mom

Coby's BYU Graduation 4/25-26/2013

On Thursday night Coby graduated from BYU.  We were blessed with perfect weather.  There were two graduation ceremonies. One for the whole graduating class at BYU and another for the students who graduated in their college department.  We had everyone in our family come on Thursday  night except Colton.  And on Friday Matt, Colton and I were the only ones who could come.

Coby's name in the very thick program for all the graduates

The keynote speaker for graduation was Elder Tom L. Perry!  He did a superb job.  

6,001 students graduated from BYU

After his graduation we went out for dinner at Old Towne Grill---yummy!  If you can believe it, BYU and UVU had their graduations on the same days.  So it was a zoo all over Provo with everyone celebrating.   It was fun to see so many happy families with their graduates, but it was also INSANE!!!  

Right after the graduation

Coby with his boss of 4 years where he worked as a Research Assistant of German documents

Matt and I with our 1st college graduate child

Yummy food at Old Towne Grill

Coby ringing the bell--there was a long line of other students waiting in line.

Right before Friday Mornings graduation

 On Friday Coby's college department had graduation at 8am.  We left our home at 6:50 to be able to be in our seats by 7:40.  I thoroughly enjoyed the Friday graduation. It was a much more intimate setting and they had a wonderful keynote speaker named Robert King.  He gave a great talk about how choices and the forks in the road that we each experience.  He talked about how up to this point, a college students life was laid  out before them.  He quotes some stats they were surprising to me.  He said between the ages of 18-44 most American will have had, 11 jobs.  He also said between the ages of 20-39 that 24 percent of youth will live with their parents.  WOW!!!

Coby graduated in Middle Eastern Studies/Arabic · International Development · German Literature. He has been very busy, and has traveled many miles to graduate in his majors.  The caliber people at BYU, and in his major is incredible.  They are so INTELLIGENT and AMBITIOUS.  They had the students raise their hands and the majority in his group spoke at least 3 languages and some knew up to 5 languages.  It is a pretty small major because of it difficulty which made me so proud of my son and his achievements. 

Coby and his close friend Seth

Coby in front of where he will be moving soon

Coby wanted to go inside his college departments building, where he spent so much time and take pictures.  Here are a few of them. 

We are so proud of you Coby Matthew Vail and we are excited to watch you continue to excel in life!

Multitasking 101

A week and a half ago I went with my brother Mark to hear my niece Layla perform at the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point.She has an amazing voice.

Later that evening I met Matt for dinner. Coby and Spencer had given us a gift card for dinner at

Christopher's Steak and Seafood.  It was delicious!!! 

On Saturday my friend Linda and I went out for lunch.  She came over to my home, it is hard to believe she has never been here before, but we always usually meet for lunch.  So it was fun to show her where I live.

The rest of Saturday was spent running errands.  It seems like I spend a lot of my Saturday's doing that now that I am working.  Kara spent all day at Bingham helping the various schools who came for the Theater Dance competition.  She went to parties both nights and Spencer went to Moab.  It was mostly Matt and I home, too bad he had to work all day Saturday.

Coby has had a some winding down activities since he is about to graduate for BYU. It has made me very reflective as I think of all he has accomplished in his short life.  I am happy for him, but I have certainly shed some tears when I contemplate that he is moving to Turkey in just a couple weeks.  He has a lot of exciting times coming and I am so delighted for him.

Above is a picture of Coby and his friend Seth meeting the Mayor of Provo at one of his closing events!!!

Last Tuesday Matt and I went to Provo to join Coby for a very nice dinner and to hear the Governor Herbert speak. 

On Wednesday my nephew Johnny and his roommate came and stayed with us.  It was fun to hear how his adventures at BYU-Idaho are going. Johnny is the one in the middle in the dark shirt and his roommate is standing on the right side.  After visiting Matt and Johnny went to a late night movie.  Spencer was kind enough to make dinner for our  whole group.  He is quite the chef.

 

On Thursday Kara went to BYU for a German Foreign Language event.  She competed in a singing event.  She sang in front of several judges singing in German.  Coby helped her with pronunciation and she got awarded the Best of Fair for the German Language which means she got 1st place out of all the German contestants. 

Matt and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary on Monday. We have been so busy that it was very low key.  But Matt had a pretty flower arrangement delivered to my work. He then came to my office and brought me my favorite kind of sandwich and we ate lunch together. I love the simple things!

Below is the Graduation Announcement I made for Coby's graduation.  It a little more creative and not as much money as the traditional kind.  We are excited for his graduation in a couple of days. 

I am experiencing  more good days than bad days, but I am still a more emotional person than normal and than what I want to be. 

 Today Colton took a ton of placements tests.  We are meeting with his vocation counselor to discuss the results and make a plan.  He has been so busy going to events or como plays.  He likes so many things that I  have no knowledge about. However, he goes to Institute each week faithfully and that I understand. 

Spencer got a recognition/award at work.  He is such a hard worker.  He has made it a goal to go to the temple every Wednesday.

Tomorrow Kara takes her driver's test.  I am excited for her to get her driver's license, but terrified of thinking about her driving all by herself.  

Our life seems to be in continual motion.  Someday it will slow down and be a semi slower motion, but for now I am trying my best to enjoy the journey!

Things I have learned: 

Don't get too bent out of shape when things don't go  the way you want them.  I seem to be learning this lesson over and over again.

You can accomplish a lot if you wake up every morning between 1 and 2 am.  This has become my new waking up time, and I can't figure out why, but it is driving me crazy and of course it makes me so tired.

It doesn't help to be angry at someone/ some people.  Especially if they don't know even know it because  it just makes you  feel unhappy.

It is hard to see your children be treated unfairly.  My Mother Bear comes out very ferociously and I want to defend.  As my sister in law says,  "Everyone needs a momma bear, but heaven help the person who crosses one."

My husband is AWESOME!  He cleaned out the whole fridge, reorganized the pantry,  put in new mulching in our front yard and he went grocery shopping this week!  WOW, what would I do without him?  

Temporarily shutting down your facebook page creates a lot more time and your phone doesn't vibrate all day long, but you miss seeing what everyone is up to.   

Freaking out is highly over rated!

Lately I feel like I am dropping the ball from early morning until late in the night. I wish I could say that this is out of the ordinary, but it isn't.   I am just over scheduled, at least for the limits I feel I can place on myself.  I have realized that what I am capable of doing working full time versus only working part time, is very different.  I think that the reason this has been difficult for me, is I like being able to do it all and  accomplish many things.  It has always been a tremendous self esteem booster to do some much in a given day.

But for some reason the stars all aligned last weekend  to make for a really good freak-out session.  I have so many great intentions, and generally I am able to accomplish them, but not recently.  Lately, I seem to fail miserably.  I feel like my heart is right, and I think I am a good at  prioritizing, but that I am literally kicking and screaming about the new limits I have to place on myself. So  each day I wake up determined to do better and do more, but day after day I seem to not  be measuring up.  I often wondering how Heavenly Father feels about this.  If he is pleased with what I do or realizes I am failing to help those that need it?  I don't want to disappoint him so I try even harder.  But I realize my efforts of trying harder are only  making the problem even worse.

So one day a week and a half ago I woke up at my normal time, 5am to go and exercise, then I get dressed, try to have breakfast and scripture reading,  then race to start some laundry and clean up something. All to leave for work at 7am.  I am thinking if only I could be faster, if only I didn't have to stop for so many red lights. Then I get to work and there is so much that needs to be done, but I don't have the skills to  be able to completely do it all alone.  I try and do my best, but it seems like I make one mistake after another.  Apparently it is to be expected, but I don't want to do what is expected.  I want to do better.   I also don't want some one younger to tell me yet again, what I did wrong.  I want to get it just right.

While at work I don't feel successful, everyone there says I am way to hard on myself, and I know they are right, but being hard on myself has always worked in the past. But, It. Isn't. Now.   I get distracted while I am there and wonder if Kara is home from school yet and wonder how her day was.  So I text her, and I am grateful to hear she is doing well, but I still worry.  I think about how I need to go to the grocery store to get food for our pantry. I worry that I am not spending quality time with my children.  I think about the laundry I haven't done or if my home is messy.  I think about how poorly I did on visiting teaching last month. I think of some of my young women I work with and how I need to plan a great activity.  I think of my sons and hope they are doing well and think about their individual issues. I worry that I am not being a good enough wife. I worry about family members health and feel bad that there isn't much I am doing to help them. I worry about the family reunion I am in charge of  in two months, and I haven't done much to prepare for it.   And this list is only a small portion of some of the things I am worrying about.

 I start thinking way too much and after doing this for close to a month, I finally had a very impressive "freak out."  I freaked  out wondering how I could do it all.  I freaked out about how there is just too much to do. I freaked out about how dumb I feel at work and how it seems I am not doing anything well at all.  All in all I just felt like I am  not measuring up.  I wish I could say that sometime after my freak out tirade, that I came to my senses, but I didn't.  It wasn't until the next day when I (with help from Matt) realized that what really matters is whether or not I show love and compassion to others and that I savor  and find joy in the journey.  I also realize I need to accept my circumstance as they are right now and be kinder to myself.  


After thinking differently about my situation I felt myself calm down.  I felt myself accepting what is. I know I will still struggle with everything I want to do, but I realize I eventually will understand my job fully, and I won't have to get help from co-workers. I will feel a balance and be able to accomplish all that is important and good.  I will find time for the essential things. My "freak-out" helped me ponder things a little differently and helped change my perspective and to focus on feeling more peace and loving more---towards my family, myself and everyone!!!  I don't recommend a "freak out" but I it did help me put things in perspective. 

Above is the picture that we had taken at the Candlelight dinner Colton gave us in February. 

Good things that are happening (I need to remind myself of this):
* Coby is graduating from BYU in less than two weeks--So proud of him!

* Spencer had a fun weekend in Moab.

* Colton has an appointment tomorrow with his guidance counselor to help him figure out the best career for him. He will do a series of tests and then eventually a tutor will be provided  to help him do well in school.

* And as my friend Linda told me yesterday,  Let adult children make mistakes and do their best.  They are adults and they can take care of themselves.

* Kara is singing at BYU in a German Voice Competitition.  She also got asked to sing a solo of the National Athem  in front of her school for an upcoming assemble.

* We found a day that will work with everyone for a family picture!!!

* And Matt got a raise!!!!!  

This last week.....

I won my Pick 6 Challenge Contest last week.  I was happy.  Yesterday I started a new Pick 6 Challenge.  I am aiming for 1st place again!!!

The last week at work seemed to exhaust me mentally and physically.  I feel completely overwhelmed and I  don't feel like I am learning everything quick enough.  I know I really am learning, but there is SO MUCH to learn and understand that it is daunting.  I had a pity party  this weekend and felt like I should quit, (there were a lot of factors I don't want to get into here)  but after going today I am feeling better. I am just so hard on myself and I want to learn everything NOW.  I really didn't believe my brother or my boss when I was told that it would take me up to a year to learn everything, but I am realizing they are right.  I believe if I think with that kind of mentality, that I might actually learn things quicker.


Meli's mom sent us more pictures of her and her family.  It is so amazing to feel like you are getting to  know someone who lives so far away.  Kara has been talking to her on the Internet too and has been delighted with Meli's cute personality.

 Coby is graduating from BYU in a little more than two weeks.  We are so proud of him.  He is a very kind soul who I learn from with every encounter.  We hardly have any time to spend with him before he leaves to go to live in Turkey on May 9th as he is swamped with papers and finals until then.   He is planning a trip to Seattle and a trip with friends so I am hoping we can have at least one family day, with everyone before he leaves.  It seems way too complicated to do with everyone's work schedule.

I am trying to plan a family picture and I haven't found one day available, but I am determined to not give up.

My aunt got home from the rehab last week.  And I have been so grateful to my sister in laws, Annette and Suzanne (pictures below) for going to Oregon to go and help her.  It is a sacrifice for them to do it, but I am so grateful.  I feel bad that I haven't been able to take a shift, since I started my job. She has been doing remarkable well. And my Aunt Traci has been so helpful driving everyone around and going and visiting my Grandma each day at the Care Center.

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Matt's dad also had a scare with his health in the last week.  I don't know too much, as they are still doing tests, but we are hoping that they will find some answers and help so he can prevent any more problems.

Colton has been dating a cute girl frequently and they go on the most creative dates.  I am impressed with the things he come up with.

Spencer didn't end up singing with the choir during the Priesthood session.  They had too many young adults and not enough music so he kindly stepped aside, much to Kara and I's sadness.   Spencer, I have learned he a very good chef.  Since I started working I have given each of the kids a night to cook and Spencer has impressed me every single night he has cooked.

Kara got another 4.0 this last quarter.  She finished her driver's ed class and is just waiting on her driver's ed instructor to give her the driver's test and then she will be an official driver.  I am excited and completely scared for her all at the same time!

Kara also got into Theater 3 at school, which is very hard to get into.  She had to memorize a LONG dialogue, and then present it in front of a panel with a lot of expression of course.  WOW.

And Matt has all of his bosses in town for the next two days for a huge dealer presentation.  I hope it  is going well for him (it is going on right now). He has been working so hard and is such an excellent boss and employee for their company!!!!

General Conference was wonderful.  I must admit I didn't have the best attitude, but I did enjoy. My favorite talks were both in the Sunday morning session and were by President Uchtdorf and Elder Holland.    I am going to have to listen to all the CD's  as soon as they arrive in the mail!!!