I came home earlier from church today. Bad cold--I think I caught it from Meli or my immune system is just bad. Just some things that have been on my mind. I am now able to get work off on Thursday afternoons. I originally asked my boss if I could get the whole day off when I started, but he said to wait 6 months and then I could work a half day and that hopefully, I will have the whole day off eventually. Even with taking the afternoon off I still work over 40 hours. It is great to be able to run errands, go visiting teaching, attend the temple and maybe hopefully someday relax. I keep trying to figure out how I can make my life less busy. I went out with my dear friend Julie last week and she told me she hates busy. She loves having quiet moments and she has created a life so that will happen. I admire that about her and I work to have that kind of life each and everyday. Working full time has put a curve in my plan and I admire all the people who make it look easy, because it is not. I believe it is because I have many health problems too, so it is harder on my body, but that is probably just an excuse. Luckily, Kara doesn't even get home until after 5pm with play practice and her various other activities so I usually am home before her. But I still feel like I am just running around all the time.
I try to be as authentic as I possibly can when I write. I feel like if I don't then I am not really telling my whole story. This is my public journal/family scrap book and if I can't be authentic, to me there would be no point in writing what I feel. This is a record of our life, the good, the bad, the ugly and sometimes the shallow. I try to be real. Sometimes, I don't always feel like I can be real, but I don't believe in being fake. I know that a lot of the things I write about are first world problems, but I have learned that I need the therapy of writing for myself. Many don't agree with me, but as I have learned from some wise people, "what you think of me is really none of my business." I try to live by that.
I have felt lonelier since I started working. I interact with people all day, and I have amazing co-workers, but I feel like as a woman I crave having a connection with other woman just to be able to socialize. I feel like by the time I come home I still need to exercise, make dinner, clean the house etc that I don't have time for that, but I know it is something I need so I must make time for it. It is very important. I know I have very high expectations of myself and what I need to do. I have tried to get my family members to help with more things, but in ways I have just created more work for myself with the choices I have made (bigger home, working, cleaning). Matt is a tremendous help, and my kids help with making dinner, but it still doesn't always feel like enough. At stake conference last week one of the speakers said something that touched me, She said she had to realize what her most important priorities were and it wasn't keeping the drawer clean, but instead building and creating an eternal family. It was such a good reminder for me. I realize that is what is most important, building others and spending time with those we love.
In other news:
Colton went to Comic Con a little while ago and really loved it. He
really loves stuff like that. Unfortunately, his friend was taking
pictures and they were lost on her camera. Colton has been working a
ton of hours--last week he worked 47 hours. He has been busy. Colton
has decided to go to the singles ward. Hopefully, he will love it.
Spencer
still continues to work at Discover and a lot of his time is spent
either with his girl friend Ann, his dog, work, the gym. I think Meli
said she sees him every three or four days. I hadn't thought of it like
that, but she was right.
Matt and I are taking the Dave Ramsey classes. It has been good and our goal is to have our home paid off 15 years or less. We are working to cut costs, never fun, but always worth it.
Meli keeps having a lot of firsts. It is fun to watch her experience American life.
